November 16th, 2016

I have been at a stagnation.

I have so many thoughts inside of me. So many plans and ideas waiting to be acted upon. And honestly, there is no valid reason as to why they have remained merely plans and ideas.

I have come to realize that stagnation is toxic. The longer you wait for the right moment, the longer you let that toxicity grow inside you…maybe even to a point where it becomes so familiar that you find a comfort inside it. I have known and seen too many people stuck here. But the most important thing I have learned is that there is NO right moment. There is no time the universe is going to tell you “It is okay to start. Now is the perfect time. Everything is good now.” You are the only force in your life and only you can create the change you want to make in your life at any given moment you have on this earth.

Stagnation is toxic. Staying in the same place for too long is toxic, whether that “place” is mental or physical. The time to manifest change is right now, and that is what I am doing.

I want to move to San Diego, and I’m going to move to San Diego in 9 months. I want to feel at peace with being across the country from my mom, so I will know that if I am happy, she is happy. I want to accept and embrace my dad’s new marriage, so I am going to accept and embrace my dad’s new marriage with open arms. I want to come to terms with past struggles, and I am going to do even more than merely “coming to terms” with them. I am going to use them as the strength and inspiration behind the great things I will do with my life. The great things that come with starting now.

Today, I want to re-string my guitar and play without fear of being too loud, so I am going to play as loud as I can. I want to exercise every day and run all of the toxicity out of my system, so I am going to sign up for 5K’s. I want to feel beautiful again, so I am going to feel beautiful to the point of knowing no doubt. I want to build a future and a career, but first I will start with the adventure and opportunity that awaits.

There will never be a right moment. Start now, or spend your life waiting.

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